I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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