he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize