When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize