Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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