I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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