I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize