I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
In America we eat man semen.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
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I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
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Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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