I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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