Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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