She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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