You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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