this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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