Whatcha textin bout Willis?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize