wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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