For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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