My underwear smells like fireworks.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize