Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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