im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize