wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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