it wasn't lemon gatorade
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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