Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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