So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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