apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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