I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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