Already got asked if we're dating
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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