He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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