i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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