Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
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Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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