Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

(734): View more from Michigan

Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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(734): Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember. (734): Have a good day. My vagina shrank. http://tfl.nu/3o44

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(240): View more from Maryland

I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!

(301): View more from Maryland

OMG! Ew.

(240): View more from Maryland

Lucky Dad.

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(240): I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one! (301): OMG! Ew. (240): Lucky Dad. http://tfl.nu/dv3r

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(702): View more from Nevada

well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?

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(702): well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right? http://tfl.nu/0mj4

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(304): View more from West Virginia

just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.

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(304): just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement. http://tfl.nu/6va8

Replies (20) Good night (4657) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea

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(732): the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea http://tfl.nu/kd80

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(303): View more from Colorado

They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.

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(303): They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other. http://tfl.nu/yacp

Replies (2) Good night (2724) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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(094): View more from

After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.

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(094): After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while. http://tfl.nu/x4in

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(972): View more from Texas

Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....

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(972): Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories.... http://tfl.nu/damv

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(713): View more from Texas

That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

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(713): That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me. http://tfl.nu/mvmi

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.

(734): View more from Michigan

Your friend and I already don't get along

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(404): I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend. (734): Your friend and I already don't get along http://tfl.nu/d3pe

Replies (4) Good night (3292) Bad night (556)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.

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(717): Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts. http://tfl.nu/zklc

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower

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(304): The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower http://tfl.nu/8cve

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(323): View more from California

He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.

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(323): He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain. http://tfl.nu/r1vy

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(505): View more from New Mexico

see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.

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(505): see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/be9f

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(760): View more from California

This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes

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(760): This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes http://tfl.nu/v44x

Replies (2) Good night (1068) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt

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