absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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