are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize