theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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