Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize