i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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