I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just invented taco cereal.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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