There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
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I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
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He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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