Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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