I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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