I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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