Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize