ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
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She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
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So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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