Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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