Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize