just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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