who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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