Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You are a genius and a whore.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize