I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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