Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize