I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize