yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
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Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
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Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize